I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
