Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
