Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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