life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
