she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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