took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
