are you still at the devil's house?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
