Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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