ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
