I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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