This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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