i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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