so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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