I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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