You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
