It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
