forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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