kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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