Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Houston, we have a squirter
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
