you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
