Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
