I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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