Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
