So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
