i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
it's like iHOP with fire
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
