nut hugger
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
