We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
