Porn is love you can see.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
