my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize