Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I supernannyed him into submission
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
