Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
