this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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