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I need help removing her.
I look better un-naked...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
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