When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore