Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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