Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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