First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
