fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
