dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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