Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
