words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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