North Korea, Best Korea!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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