Screwed.edu
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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