If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
