Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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