It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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