She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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