that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
