we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize