I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize