You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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