a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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