i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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