just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Someone came in the potted fern
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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