that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
