can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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