What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
