We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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