She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
