Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
