The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
