You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
