well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
