Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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