I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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